I had a lot of fun building this bike. The best questions I get are from the “Guy.” You know, the guy who has on all the latest Harley-Davidson gear on. I mean this dude is a walking clothing depot for H-D. He is sporting the latest fashion with the price tags still on with the brand-new chromed-out DeluxeBaggerKingGlide. Those kids of guys all just look at my knuckle and scratch their heads.
When in the planning stages of this build I knew I wanted to have the sluttiest king and queen seat around. I wanted it to look like a stripper’s thong. I had the color white with blue pearl in mind for the bike, but I came up with the Jesus-vs.-unicorn-with-a-rainbow mural the day of painting. The whole paint scheme came about mostly to bug those hardcore “bad boy” corporate bikers on their baggers and apehanger-wielding Softails. There is nothing more funny than pulling up beside one of those boys on his bought-on-credit steel-horse steed and just stare at him with a grin on your face. That’s right buddy, some guy with a rainbow and unicorn on his bike sporting a pink bubble shield is staring right at you.
I started the build with a hand-built frame. I then hand-bashed the tank, then filled in the gaps. The sissybar, controls, motor mount, and bars are all stainless. Almost everything on this bike was handmade. I had a few major parts lying around like the engine and four-speed transmission. The rear fender I did a trade for something I can’t even remember, and I had half of a Sporty frontend under one of my workbenches. I wanted to take the unicorn bike on its maiden voyage at the holiest of holy biker rallies, Sturgis. If I was going to make it, I would have to finish the bike there, so I dragged the pile of parts to South Dakota and did some fine tuning in the rain there. The next day I had everything done except for the seat. After one failed attempt, I gave the seat to a friend of mine, Jordan from Union Speed. I think it took him around 14 hours to build it. My boy, Leo, and I road out to support him and make sure he got the job done. Did I mention that he built the whole seat in a dirty field with crappy lighting at the Buffalo Chip? Anyhoo, a sleep-deprived Jordan didn’t finish the seat till 8 a.m. the next day. Once done, Leo and I rushed back to downtown Sturgis where the Mad Jap booth was set up and we put the seat on. It was like icing on the cake. We had just enough time to make it to the big chopper show and had a couple of beers. Due to inebriation and exhaustion, I ended up passed out on one of the couches at the Full Throttle while a band played full-blast with one arm around my bike.
A couple of days later, I was dying to go for a real ride on the Unicorn Bike, so I went out on a day trip with Lock Baker, as well as Scott and John from Cali. Long story short, we got caught in a killer hailstorm and never even thought of pulling over. Poor John’s face got bloody from the hail. At the end of the Unicorn’s inaugural ride, all of us were heading down Hwy 91 from Mount Rushmore around 90 mph, and some dude on his bagger went whipping by us right on the yellow line. I looked at Lock and he instinctively gave me the nod. My tire had a speed rating of 90 mph, and I know we were going a lot faster than that when we all went back around that guy. I was thinking, “Yeah he just got owned by the Unicorn!” We kept going full-tilt until I ran out of gas. Good thing we were at the first Sturgis exit, so I coasted to the gas station and avoided humiliation.
The bike ran like a champ the whole time in South Dakota and nothing fell off the thing. To this day the bike is steady as shit and fun as hell to ride. People still ask me all the same dumb questions though. STC
Up here in the Great White North there are no cool bike rallies or shows, so most folks don’t know anything about the machines I build. After building this bike, I seem to get all the same dumb questions and comment wherever I go. Here is my top 10 list, in order.
1. That can’t be comfortable.
2. Don’t the cops arrest you on that thing?
3. How does it handle with those bars?
4. Nice Bobber.
5. My buddy’s is just like that, only it’s black with flames and has red wheels.
6. How far do you get on that tank?
7. Is that how you shift it?
8. Where’s your front brake?
9. Why do you kickstart it?
10. What kind of motor is that?